Welcome to another Wednesday Wisdom, Friend. Every week, I share with you what I’m thinking about life, work, and leadership. This week we’re talking about the power of language.
Two years ago, I ran a personal experiment after reading Atomic Habits by James Clear. To be more grateful in your life, Clear suggests that every time we say we “have to” do something, we replace it with “I get to.” I gave it a go.
For a week, every time I found myself about to say “I have to” (‘I have to cook dinner’, ‘I have to pick up the kids’, ‘I have to be in Auckland that week’) I swapped it out for “I get to.”
‘I get to cook dinner’ suddenly felt like a privilege. We have the food, skills and resources to create a healthy meal, and I’m home to do it.
‘I get to pick up the kids’ became a lifestyle indicator. I can prioritise my children inside my workday.
‘I get to be in Auckland’ became a marker of work variety and satisfaction.
Huh. Interesting!
I was genuinely floored by the difference – and it triggered a similar exploration in my work.
Could we maybe diagnose different patterns of behaviour and thinking based on the language people use?
After months of reviewing survey responses and monitoring the words people used in workshops and learning sessions, some clear themes emerged.
What we found
Worried and defeated people use passive language, and struggle to act on the things they cared about.
Busy and resentful people use the language of constraints, and find it hard to live by their priorities.
Proactive people use choice-focused language, and find opportunities to make a difference.
Adaptive and flexible people use the language of experimentation and are able to grow.
Like in Clear’s experiment, the words we use don’t just reflect how we think – they have a profound effect on the way we see the world and the choices we make. When we nudge language in a different direction, we can nudge our mindset along with it.
When I work with leadership teams, I encourage them to monitor how they speak, and what they’re hearing. We always aim to shift at least one level on the ladder.
– What kind of language are you using most of the time?
– What about your peers and colleagues?
– What does it say about where your thinking is at right now?
– What difference would it make to try and use different words now and then?
If you give this. ago, let me know! I’d love to hear how you get on.
Til next week,
A